God No!

So, it’s probably worth mentioning that one last step I took to call myself an atheist was reading God No! by Penn Jillette. This step was entirely unintentional. My Fiance Patrick bought it for me because he is not a big reader, but wanted me to preview it to see if it was worth him reading. I wasn’t even reading for myself at first!   I certainly didn’t read it  because I wanted to become an atheist, or because I needed more reason to become an atheist or anything like that. In fact, I was quite convinced at the beginning it wouldn’t make me an atheist.  And, to my credit, it didn’t. I made me an atheist. (Or I made the decision to call myself an atheist and return to the natural state of humans as some say.)

But by the end of the first page I was fully reading for myself.  I knew Patrick would love it, and I loved it. I stayed up for hours reading  I laughed my ass off and I also sobbed at certain parts.  I had not been on such an emotional roller coaster since my first birth control.  I digress.  I always thought that in order for me to fully renounce my faith in God I would have to see really good evidence, or hear a really good argument or something. But I had heard most arguments from Patrick, and evidence doesn’t do much good when it’s trying to contradict something based in faith and not logic.

Throughout the book, I realized that a lot of things I said were good about my faith weren’t actually good. They were holding me back from living the most beautiful life I could. It wasn’t arguments or someone telling me I’m stupid for believing in God. It was someone telling crazy, unbelievable stories about their life and how he makes it as meaningful and love-filled as possible. The “infinite” love of the God I believed in wasn’t infinite. The love my friends and family has for me–I can see that.  That is meaningful.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know that atheists could live fulfilled lives, Patrick lives a happy and good life and I defended that to my Christian friends all the time.  But the book helped me look at religion from a new view point. Outside of faith looking in. Looking at it from a more logical view. I’m not sure. I can’t entirely put my finger on what sort of epiphany I had, but the more  I thought about it, the happier I was.

So thanks to my two favorite atheists! Penn and Patrick




One thought on “God No!

  1. You’re lucky. Some of us older folk didn’t have these guys around. It literally took me decades to do what you have done. Before I could say I’m an atheist I had to tempt god to come down and destroy me… blasphemed so he would. Nothing happened… so I waited. Then I did it again. After a few more times I felt sure that what I had learned was true… there is no god. If there is it doesn’t care enough about me to show itself. Like a kid whistling in the dark, I made my way to atheism, then anti-theism. Welcome to the crowd.

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