Feminism Confuses Me

Apparently, I am a surprising person. Many of my friends and family are surprised (or would be surprised) by the fact that I’m an atheist.

People are also surprised that I would not call myself a feminist.

Mostly because I have no fucking clue what feminism is. I went to a hippie college for a year. (Worst year of my life–more on that later). Everyone there was a feminist. But I still have no idea what it was. Everyone I asked gave me a dramatically different answer. From my year at hippie college this is what I’ve determined feminism to be:

1. Thinking the Vagina Monologues are cool

2. Telling people (me) they are close minded because they (I) disliked a poster across the hall from me of a woman’s bare breasts and hairy armpits advertising “The Breast Project”–a bunch of pictures of breasts.

3. One or more of the following thoughts.  (Most feminists I knew didn’t stick to just one, creating much contradiction.)  Women are better than men, woman are totally equal to men, woman can do whatever the fuck they want, appreciating the difference between men and women, or something else about women. Also, spelling woman “womyn” so it didn’t have the word man in it.

That about sums it up.  I will not call my self a feminist because I don’t understand what it is. There were a billion different kinds of Christians and I hated being lumped in with the ones I’m wasn’t.  I’m not about to do that to myself again.

Women are cool because babies can grow inside of them and then get pushed out a really little hole.  They can act, dress, think or express themselves however they want, but being a woman doesn’t give them any sort of right to not be judged about anything. As a human being, I reserve the right to judge whoever I want because I can and there is nothing stopping me. When people start acting on that judgement in a way that harms others, well, that’s a different story.

I love strong women. I love beautiful woman. I love a good pair of boobs. I love my boobs. I love being a woman. But my view on what a good woman is no better than anyone else’s.

Also, rape is bad.



10 thoughts on “Feminism Confuses Me

  1. It confuses me too. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about fitting in with anyone or anyones. I say live and let live if you don’t infringe on other’s rights.

    I wouldn’t go back to being young again for anything. Age frees one from so many things. It probably keeps me from being Adorable too. 😦

    Keep writing your Adorable Thoughts. 🙂

  2. I had to write a capstone on feminism before I could even begin to understand the full picture, so I completely understand your confusion. I think you’ve got a good grasp on it though. It really is like picking between different Christianities. I just found my niche. Stay you though! You’re a great you!

    • I have a lot of respect for someone to write a capstone on feminism. I don’t want to call myself a feminist if I don’t understand it, and I don’t understand it. I’m happy you’ve found a niche in feminism!

  3. In my experience, feminists are people who bring gender into every single discussion, regardless of whether it is relevant. I DO want women to be equal and to be respected and valued, but I also have a lick of common sense. There are certain things women are generally less suited to, for a variety of physiological and psychological reasons. That shouldn’t matter. If you are one of the women who is capable and comfortable with being, say, a mechanic, FINE, nobody should care, just do it. But if you’re not, then don’t. It just isn’t a big deal.

    • I feel like adding a title to my feelings that women should be respected and valued might actually make them less clear to others, because it would be adding others peoples thoughts and views with it. I want women to be respected and valued and that’s what matters to me! Thanks for the comment!

  4. First of all thank you for your visit and for following.
    Also, as a mere (male) elephant I am happy to say that I have never understood feminism or, indeed, women, ladies, girls, dames, lassies, chicks or any other variation of the fairer (and, in my limited experience, much smarter) sex.
    When my daughter was about 3 years old, she was more sensible and grown-up than I have ever been, or ever will be.
    Anyway, belatedly, I like what I have seen here on a first visit, and I will be back.
    And don’t get too hung up on atheism. It is, like feminism, whatever you want it to be, and not all things to all (wo)men.

  5. Feminism is asserting that you ladies aren’t less valuable human beings than we guys. I was raised by a woman, in a world of women, and think feminism is just as natural as breathing. I wasn’t raised by an atheist feminist, but nobody’s perfect. 🙂

  6. Hey, just found your blog. I am an atheist and a feminist from Sweden and I just want to say that I hope your negative (?) experiences of feminists do not color your view of us all.
    My definition of feminism is that women are neither better nor worse than men, and a women of course shall be judged when there is a valid reason, but no more or for other reasons than a man would. Furthermore, I agree with MichaelEdits above.

  7. Pingback: Feminism, The Election and Dislike for Rebecca Watson | The Adorable Atheist

  8. Hi MC!
    I like your blog.
    I haven’t had much contact with hard-core feminists.
    In my mind, if you want equality, you have to give it too.

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