Hi Friends 🙂
Just writing a post to say thanks to all of you that have been reading and commenting. I love hearing that there are so many of us that can relate to one another. I was so hesitant to start the blog because I feared a negative or judgmental response, but I am always amazed at the positive feedback. Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, and thanks for being you!
As for my life, my semester in Ireland is coming to a close an I’ll be returning to the states on December 16th. I miss my fiance terribly and the homesickness really has been overwhelming. I am ready to be back in the good ol’ US of A. I have been incredibly lucky for the opportunity to study in another country, but I must admit I don’t think it was the best fit for me. I have not felt the same drive, focus, and passion for life that I feel at home. I am not able (or perhaps willing) to invest myself in any sort of friendships here, as they are all feel so shallow and I know they will not last a day beyond my departure from Ireland. At one point in my life I would have craved the excitement and the mystery of creating friendships and memories in such a short period of time, but I wish for so much more in my life now.
I miss and adore the deep multidimensional relationship I have with Patrick and the genuine connection we have. It is fulfilling on a level that I never could have imagined when I was seeking short and exciting relationships. I see the the students in my program building these “once in a lifetime” relationships and I know that they are wary of my distance. But I do not feel any pressure to join them nor do I judge them at all for creating them. Everyone is at a different place in their life and I truly wish everyone the best. I can only speak for me, and I know my heart has been chasing what is fleeting for too long. The grass is greener where you water it. I know just where I want to be and some grass that could use some watering.
So, just a week of studying, a week of exams, and then I can be rid of the crippling homesickness.
― Kurt Vonnegut
Listening to “Home” by Phillip Phillips